The age old question of ‘where do we stand’ is one, that in this modern age, we can change up and have some fun with. Traditionally the groom will stand on the left, and the bride on the right. Thank goodness it’s 2023 and we are all able to marry regardless of gender and status, and we can stand wherever we want. Hallelujah!
Mixing up how we stand at your wedding is one of the easiest ways to personalise your ceremony. But first a little history lesson…
Why do we have a side anyway?
Let's go back to the Anglo-Saxon English times, where this tradition first began. There are a few angles to the tradition, but all pretty much involve the groom fighting off people and the brides being kidnapped. YES kidnapped! 😧
All those years ago, brides were often kidnapped from their families to marry men from other villages against their will. As you can expect the bride's families would try to break up the wedding ceremony. The groom would have his bravest men next to him to help him defend against any attacks (cue Best Men being termed). If the family made it through the best men it was up to the groom to defend himself, using his right ‘fighting’ hand to draw his sword ⚔️ (sorry lefties!) and fight those coming towards them, whilst holding his bride captive with his left hand.
A nicer version of this story is one where the brides would marry their love, before being kidnapped by men from other villages. The couple in love would marry, however he would still stand on the right to draw his sword on any jealous rivals trying to stop the ceremony. The Bride in this instance would be on the right, so that he didn't accidentally wound her when drawing his sword.
SO now that we know the history, and feel a little sick at the thought of the reasoning (but just wait till I tell you why we have cake at weddings), why do we still stand on these sides?
So, what are the options?
I ask my couples what side they would like to stand on, and the biggest thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong decision here. You can stand wherever you like. Left. Right. Dancing in the middle. Whatever option you choose will be the right one for you two. 💕 Some couples will choose the tradition as they like it. Some will choose their side as they favour that side of their face, or how their hair will be on the day, etc.
Curveball?
There is one thing that will generally override the chosen standing sides on the day of your ceremony and that is the weather. I will always ask who we are ‘sacrificing to the sun’ on the day - if the sun is a factor when we arrive at the venue.
What is this sacrifice?
Well, some of us spend a lot of time, effort and money on our face and hair, so I will always suggest that if it's sunny on the side you have chosen to stand, that we switch sides, and this person shall stand with their back to the sun, to protect the investment haha!
Of course my preference is both of you in the shade, but in good old sunny Perth that is not always an option. 😎
How do we decide?
Spend a little time thinking about your ceremony, stand together and have someone take a photo of you on both sides as options, how will your hair be, are you holding a sword on the day to fend off family 😁, do you want your engagement ring showing all ceremony, do you have a preferred side of your face etc etc. Think about if you want traditional, or to break the mould.
Remember though, there are no rights or wrongs, it's your wedding YOUR way! ❣️
I can’t wait to see your decision.
Krissy, AKA your celebrant + Miss of Ceremonies
Xx
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